The Mahoneys

Falling

2011-11-16T14:55:00.001-08:00

Who Knew

2011-11-13T16:11:00.000-08:00

When Cam died everyone knew.

Everyone but me.

I received multiple phone calls
from friends asking how I was doing.

I replied the typical "fine how are you?"
The line would go quiet and they would awkwardly say... "are you sure?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"uhh just wondering....blah blah blah. I will talk to you later."

I began to get suspicious after my 3rd phone call like that.

Nobody wanted to tell me.

I called the hospital, and requested room number 1244,

"Sorry we don't have anyone in that room".

I replied, "Well transfer me to Cameron Coder's room."
"One moment....We don't have a patient by that name."

I hung up and called again and again.

I was crying and screaming into the receiver. The operator finally took pity on me

and said firmly, "He's not here anymore."

The only place I was willing to believe he had gone was home.
I called his house many times. Leaving one voice mail after another.

Sitting there for hours with the dreadful suspicion of his passing was terrible. Feeling as if the world would crash around me with the next phone call. I continued making calls incessantly, spurring on the destruction.

Finally someone told me.

She picked up the phone and told me that Cam had died earlier that day.

Hours after my first phone call, I finally found out what everyone had already known.

The strangest thing was the relief I felt.
Then guilt for feeling it.
Then depression. A quiet subtle depression that I had not realized had settled in my soul.

A warm night in October

2011-11-11T11:52:00.000-08:00

I have been packing boxes and bartering on Craigslist trying to get the last 6 years of our lives to fit into 5 linear feet. Selling my furniture and getting rid of appliances has actually been exciting. As more and more of our possessions go out our door and into some bargain hunters house I feel lighter somehow.

I am ridiculously excited to move but I am going to miss some of the thing we'll leave behind.

The mild autumn weather will be missed, along with the neighborhood friends we've made.

I expect this will be the last year we carve Jack-O-Lanterns in our bare feet.

Happy Day

2011-11-10T16:01:00.001-08:00

For 3 months Maya has been waiting to turn three and have a "rainbow" party.

This party has dominated a large portion of our conversations, her play time and her songs.

The excitement was almost more than an anxious toddler could take.

When the big day arrived she went out for pancakes in her tutu and crown.

She was on cloud 9 all day

and spoiled in the way little girls love.

I love my Maya doll!

And Then She Was Three...

2011-11-08T20:41:00.000-08:00

My Maya is only a day older than she was yesterday but tomorrow she will be a year older .

Sometimes it takes celebrating a birthday to make me realize that the time is speeding by.
It's the moments between the desperate countdown to bedtime and the lazy days at the park that seem to slip by unaccounted for.

I feel like this last year I have gone from feeling overwhelmed and out numbered, to having two little girls who delight me with all of their chatter, ideas, and quarks.

I hope I am blessed to share many more of your birthdays! I love you.

Maya doesn't simper and aim to please nearly as much as her sister but she places great value in being funny.
She is constantly asking me if it was funny when she said/did __________.
She hates compliments and prefers it if we treat he as if she were an animal.
Her little fingers are named "tickles" and they enjoy dancing and creeping along your neck.
She has a Chicken puppet who celebrates his birthday nearly every day with singing, a cake and a party with all of the other toys in attendance.
Maya loves being the little sister, and Layla loves being a good big sister.

Anne Sulivane

2011-11-07T15:37:00.000-08:00

I am not one to toot my own horn but (beep beep) I think I am pretty smart.

Don't we all?
It's part of our human/animal instinct to think we have a leg up on the other guy,

(Not in the lifting a leg, dog urination kind of way but in the "I am better than you in the evolutionary scheme of things" kind of way).

No? Not you? Well now you can start thinking you ARE better than me because you are.
Anyway getting on to my story:

I once dated a guy who was Smokin' hot. We are talking dead sexy! He was mannishly feminine, stubble with soft hands and a firm touch (get the picture?). Like most hotties he was not the "whole Package." I'll give him credit for being clever and even cunning at times but overall, I didn't think he was smart.

In fact I suspected him of being illiterate (he wasn't), and instead of hightailing out of the doomed coupling, (doomed because it is hard to repress the fact that you feel your intellect is superior) I decided to teach him how to read.

After a lot of thought I decided to broach the subject as sensitively as possible so he wouldn't be embarrassed. He seemed puzzled. Like an idiot, I didn't take his confusion as a signal that maybe he already knew how to read. I offered my tutoring services in a much more direct manner using smaller words and lot of nodding.

He was disgusted. My attractive but dim boyfriend could in fact read and I was incredulous.
We began to argue. I demanded proof and he continued to feel insulted.
After arguing back and forth he satisfied my misgivings by reading a few lines.
I felt like a complete ass.

We eventually broke up. He broke up with me which again made me feel like a ass because being dumped always does. Especially if you think you are pretty smart!

Taking Back Halloween

2011-11-02T13:08:00.000-07:00

I tried to convince my family into doing matchcie Halloween costumes and... was unanimously vetoed. Trying to convince my daughters and husband to dress up in a costume of my choosing triggered a series of flash backs ( here and here ) resulting in the quick decision to take them to the Halloween isle in walmart and choose whatever they wanted (within reason).

Since I didn't have to worry about coordinating our costumes, I decided to spend the time and moola on my costume. What I did not expect was to be shown up by my typically reserved husband.

His costume took a fraction of the time and was recognized by most, while I had to correct/explain who I was multiple times throughout the evening.

The moral of the story is... "This mofo knows not to mess with Sir Joseph Dirt. "

Joe Dirt

Link, not Zelda, Legolas, or a Christmas Elf

Wonder Woman

Puppy Love

Thanks to my mom and Jonathan for helping out!

P.S. Joe dirt was the movie Colin and I watched on our 1st date, you could say that we've kept on keepin' on ever since

Playing Mommie

2011-10-26T22:11:00.000-07:00

I wrote this post a day or two ago in a rage.

A woman asked me if I "Just say home and play Mommy"?

Why is it always a woman who belittles the work I do at home.

Later I was informed that staying home was much to boring for one woman. Actually strike that.. It was not boring but if she stayed home she would spend SOOO much money on home improvement projects (that she would of course do herself) that it is just much better for her to work.

I stay home with my kids and there are days where I don't even complete a load of laundry, so again I felt attacked.

Previously I had a department head at the local college ask me why I even bothered going to school if I was planing on "not working."

And while the insult festered and this post sat in my draft folder, I hired a handyman to fix some thing around the complex.

He arrived and I was still in my pajamas, the breakfast dishes sat in the sink and fingerprints were evident on every cupboard in the kitchen.

When his job was done, he gave me an invoice, and then did something that shocked me.

He told me I was a very good mom, and he was impressed with how I was raising my kids.

I stood there in my flannel sweats and a pony tail in shock.

The compliment he payed me outweigh all the slights of the previous week.

It prompted me to reevaluate my worth as an individual. It made me want to help others to feel the same kind of empowerment.

according to Layla

2011-10-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

I realized that the majority of communication between myself and my four year old consisted of demands coming from both parties,
a fair amount of whining from one of us
and threats and bribes from the other.

While this is a sad truth it is truth none the less.
I am trying to change.

I have slowed down to talk to my sweet daughter,
we both have lowered our expectations of the other
and now we are beginning to communicate like moderately evolved creatures.

While our chats have frequently caused seemingly permanent confusion in the mind daughter, they have been precious, funny, and informative.

Here is a little interview we had today:

Layla can I talk to you; Uhhh ya!

Sweetie what is you whole name: Layla DA ho knee, ya thats my whole name

How old are you? 4

Are you smart? ya.... so I'm hungry

What is your favorite color? uhhh but I am hungry hungry hungry.....mine's is rainbow and purple

What is your favorite food? pumpkin bread

What do you think about daddy: I love daddy to be a beautiful princess

Maya? Uh maya looks great

Mom? a ballerina

What do you like to do for fun? flying

What is your favorite book my favorit book is that book (she points) by the pumpkins

Do you like to read: ya

are you good at it? ya

When you grow up what do you want to be? uuh.. I want to be a mermaid... but member when I grow up I will turn to wonder woman.

Then she ran off flying around the room.

Nikle for a Memmory

2011-10-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

I had a yard sale and learned some facts about life.

The first and most important one is: I am not a yard sale person.

(All other life lessons earned at the sale hinge upon that principle)

I am a classically trained retail customer.
I hate bartering, asking for money, and confrontation.

I know it's unreasonable to horde stuff you don't want, especially when moving across the country.

I sold all the baby toys and clothing.
It felt like I was opting for sterilization.
It felt irrationally permanent.
It fueled my desire to hold on to the fragments of their infancy even tighter.

I put price tags on sleepers they wore the 1st week of life, and toys they gnawed more than played with.

Once the bargain hunters arrived, I was informed that the going rate on a childhood memory was significantly lower than the 1 or two bucks I was asking.

People insisted on haggleing over a quarter or less so I turned over all purchases to Colin.

I don't like to barter especially when it's over my daughters first swimsuit, rattler, or dress.

It was strange to see people refuse to pay me for items in excellent condition,
things they would normally pay 2x as much for at the DI or kid to kid.

I potted plants and thought about society and consumerism while my husband haggled and bartered the afternoon away.

I was a real person, a member of their community, selling MY things and some how this made them worth less. Supporting a large, often faceless corporation is more acceptable than paying pennies on the dollar at a yard sale. It's not about the money that I found disturbing, it's how corporations and communities are at odds.

Mr. All Red

2011-08-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

As we get closer to moving our fannies across the country we have had to sell a few things, By way of Garage sale (that was an experience worthy of a separate post) and Via craig's list.

"We are selling our faithful companion of 2 years "Mr. All Red"

Mr. All Red is a 92 Mercury Topaz with 84,000

our little family has enjoyed 35,000 of those miles in his company.

Mr. All Red has taken us across 4 state lines in style, The extra dark tint and cold AC has helped us survive the St. george summer heat.

The Interior is Red down to the plush red seats and safety belts and the exterior is.... Red hence the name "All Red"

While CD players were not a readily available upgrade in this particular model, he does have a tape deck with automatic Aside B side switch.

Here is a link to the KBB Click ME

The private party value for this car in Fair condition is $1,590

he interior of the Car is in Excellent condition and the exterior is as well.

The car leaks (not burns) oil. We just top it off every month and were good to go.

We are willing to take $900 if this car goes to a good home."

Call Ana or Colin

Se Habla Espanol

Here is what one reviewer said about her Topaz

TOPAZ!

By haybails (Sturgeon Bay, WI) on Tuesday, January 11, 2011

overall rating 5 of 5rating details

"I loves my Topaz. She's sassy, yet classy. Comfortable, and reliable. Super-sleek, speedy, and can fit 13 people and a kitten inside. Ideal!"

* Mr. All Red was named after My college roommates ride *

Angry Bird

2011-08-23T12:47:00.000-07:00

As I have mentioned previously, my daughters are incredibly imaginative.

This week they have been "Messy Birds".

From my observations "Messy Birds" are a flightless species of bird that travel in pairs. Their natural habitat is the living room. These birds build enormous nests out of every blanket, book, block, pillow or toy they can lay there talons on. A nest is only complete once all the drawers are empty of the clean folded clothing and trampled and crumpled into the nest. Upon completion of the nest the birds sit on there eggs which hatch my little ponies, weeble wobbles, and the occasional chicken. The birds tend to get aggressive and peck, scratch, and screech at one another as the day grows hotter. I then turn into an angry bird due to the huge mess and fighting children.

I have done all in my power to drive this species of bird into extinction. This week I feel as though I have finally conquered these pesky Birds, by forbidding them to nest in my living room. To my surprise I have another rodent who has made it's way into my youngest imagination.

She is now a Bunny. A sweet little bunny.

In order to become a bunny Maya strips down to her birthday suit and helps her self to toilet paper, which she stuffs between her cheeks then hops around the house.

Yes Ma'm

2011-08-10T19:02:00.000-07:00

We missed the deadlines for other ABSN programs,

We missed them because at the very last minute( essays written and applications filled) Colin changed gears. He no longer wanted to go to Physician assistant school.

The only ABSN program open that we were interested in was Duke University.

We crossed our fingers and said our prayers as we submitted a single application.

Colin bought a suit when he got an interview. (he looked damn sexy)

We both were thrilled when he was accepted.

Our Little family is going to be packing up and heading South.

The program is only 16 months but upon completion nearly 1/2 of the credits need for an Family Nurse Practitioner will be fulfilled, or he could apply the credits for a CRNA or DNP or... ect ect.

What I am really saying is that we ware going to be in North Carolina for about 5 years.
I think my little girls might develop a southern drawl.

I am so excited for a good change, and a little scared of the bugs.

Any advice on how to move 4 people and a 2 bedroom apartment across the country?

One Super Day

2011-08-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

My first Baby celebrated her 4th birthday in style this week.

It's hard to believe that 4 years ago I became her Mom, but thats another post.

This is her big day in Pictures. Enjoy

You're Colin...

2011-08-04T23:37:00.000-07:00

"your colin cus your my daddy"
I know Layla means "your Colin and your my daddy"
But the way she expresses made me think about who I am and how having children has shaped me.

Having children has not completely altered who I am, it's more of an enhancement.

My weakness are harder to hide from myself
My strengths and quirks are duplicated.

I am Ana cus I am their mommy
I am Ana cus I am... A daughter sister friend lover, ect.

I like the person I am, I really do. I know it's not in vogue to be happy, especially with your self, but I see the potential I have every day.

The faces of my children motivate me to become the woman I want raising them.
I can't wait to improve, because they are growing every day.

The quite" I love you Mommy's" let me know that who I am is good enough.

Pink Tights

2011-07-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

The daily struggle to get dressed is so much easier on monday morings.

Monday is Dance class.

my girls squeal as a tug on their pink tights.

these pink tights are not required for class but I make sure they wear them every time.

They twrill in their dresses and practice taking bows

They wear special ballerina buns each time because, I think that's the proper way of doing things.

The slippers are on and backpacks are packed, and the morning is off to a smooth start.

I spend time alone doing Pilates and then I meet up with Colin and we go out for Pancakes.

I Love Mondays the most.

Imagination Explosion

2011-07-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

The girls are growing up.

They are taller, their hair is longer, and they can do more things on there own.

I am enjoying they way their imaginations have blossomed.

lately they have been carrying 14 imaginary mice everywhere.

These mice love cheese
dance in the moon
sometimes a few get lost.
and they are blue rainbow colored.

This reminds me of growing up with my sisters.

We all shared a bed in our childhood.

Our bed was and Igloo one day
and a dunkeroo (anyone remember these treats?) filled yacht with servants the next.
I know there are all kinds of ways to grow up
but having a dream world to share with someone
is the only way I know. I am glad my girls have one another.

This is our kingdom Complete with a zoo, palace, pet store, bank and bakery.

I am Helping You

2011-07-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

I am helping you help me.

My bossy streak is not only off putting it is completly selfish.

I don't boss people around when I stand nothing to gain from it.

I boss people around when it could possibly make my life easier.

The irony of this situational bossy pantsness is that I really hate being incharge

I can't take the pressure, but I still want to tell everyone how things need to be.

So there you have it another one of my little faults.

Have I told you bout the time...

2011-06-28T20:54:00.000-07:00

I made the mistake of thinking I was perfect

Not at all things but, at one of the hardest.

I thought I was the perfect mother, or as close to perfect as humanly possible.

My first child was an angle.
I took credit for her disposition.

She was calm, sweet and obedient.
She sleep through the night at 2 weeks old, not just through the night but for 12 hours straight, every night.

I attributed this to all the books I read, the practice I had being the oldest of 5 and my natural mothering abilities.

I am wiser now.

I am the type of person that never learns from others, I am a "hands on learner" at that can make life a bit harder.

God knows me well.

I got Maya, she has cured me of my parenting delusions. I now know that my natural mothering skills are laughable, and look more like survivor skills.

and now ~~I have learned~~ I am convinced that I am not prefect. In fact not a day goes by with out my children making me look ridiculous.

This is me the moment I became perfect.

And not a day goes by that I would trade being their mother for anything in the world.

Learning to Read part 2

2011-06-20T21:21:00.000-07:00

Yes I am Bragging.
I think I can, since I don't pretend every day is tottaly awesome at my home

I want to show off some awesome-ness occasionally.

So here we go.

Layla's reading is taking off.

I am excited it's something she enjoys
I am excited to be the one who teaches her
I am all around pretty excited. (encase you can't tell)

The lighting is bad, and the picture is a bit shaky
but I'm a proud mama and her cute little voice makes my heart happy

The solstice

2011-06-20T11:23:00.000-07:00

The summer solstice is the longest day of the year
It's approaching quickly
I feel like I have already had a few longest days of the year, last week

Fighting

Tantrums

Bedtime: This is just how I happened to look, the exasperation is not fabricated. (I know it's not flattering)

Happy Summer Solstice

Last summer

2011-06-16T09:02:00.000-07:00

Last summer we camped at Havasupai
We hiked our kids, and food and water the 10miles on our backs, (my mom hiked Maya in)

This summer the girls are too heavy to hike in but still to small to walk. So I am just reminiscing,
My babies are getting bigger.
The summer is getting hotter
And I need a little getaway to cool water
and good company.

I did not bring my camera so
These are the only photos I have.

Drawn In

2011-06-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have always believed in love at first sight, even though I have never been an object of that type of affection.

My husband and I did not fall in love at first sight.

what we experienced was something I had never contemplated.

We are soul mates.

I had never believed in soul mates

I am the kind of girl who falls in love with each and every person she dates,
I couldn't imagine just one person made for the other.

But we are

having a soul mate, does not make a relationship easy, in fact i think at times it makes it more difficult.

all the things that start out a relationship have been missing from the beginning for us.

Colin and I are typically attracted to different types of people.

We share few hobbies
and have different temperaments.

We were not attracted to one another but drawn to each other.

our souls spoke, and filled our hearts with a deep care.

We loved each other despite ourselves,

and we still do.

it's hard because the soul is sometimes the last thing we listen to,

I have at times questioned why we got together.
I have stomped my feet and yelled through tears
But when I am still and listen to my deepest desires, the desires of my soul It always brings me back to him.

My spirit was complete before.

besides him it reaches new heights and soars.

it is our differences that make things hard,
and those very differences make us prefect for another.

I believe that "love is a labor, (even for soul mates,) and I will slave to the end."

The Boss

2011-06-12T22:27:00.000-07:00

Maya is one bossy little girl, she takes after her mamma in that way...

well in most ways, actually.

I think that is why she has been such a challenging child for me.

Her stubbornness, and sensitivity make parenting near impossible some days.

stubbornness and sensitivity

the two things that make her perfect to me

The Breakdown

2011-06-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

I am acknowledging the fact that I may be having a bit of a breakdown.

Breakdowns for me are not depressing or Munchie. (I typically gain weight when I am happy)

They are usually filled with rash decisions and irresponsibility.

This is a quick look at my breakdown:

I test drove a jeep wrangler the other day, and I am seriously considering this being our family car.

I am planing a stint in Costa Rica.

I don't want to build friendships, I like to be alone.

Yet I feel the need to over share via the interweb.

I even joined facebook, if you know me at all, this is not good cus I can't control the creepy.

I have scheduled an appointment to get my IUD placed.

What is it like when you breakdown?

we have had our lives planned out on a rigged path for a few years.

We are changing our plans, so currently we have no plans.

No plans make me feel...weird.

I am embracing the breakdown as of now, it's the only way I know how to get through it.

I am sure it won't last long...maybe?

the sweatlist

2011-06-09T08:14:00.000-07:00

I run.
But don't mistake me for a runner
Runners seem to enjoy running
and they seem to go farther distances

I don't really enjoy it and I don't ever run very far

In order to run I need my sweatlist

It's a playlist of songs that mommydom forbids me to listen to in front of my children, due to the explicit lyrics.

My husband borrowed my ipod for his run.
he is a runner, in fact we are a very odd couple but it works for us
anyway....

(the borrowed Ipod) he came home to tell me how my music section was a little inappropriate

I just cant help it, I actually need it to run. I can't quite explain how a synthesized beat and someone singing "Damn girl youz a sexy..." helps keep me going. but it does.
you understand right?
maybe talk radio and gospel is what most work out to?

Since I haven't purchased a new album in a while my tune dealer is my sister and she expertly assembles my sweatlist.

This is the typical music that happens at my house.

rebirth

2011-06-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

The day I became a mother my eyes were opened.
Opened in the same way the loss of my innocence colored the world

We were both born that day.
My daughter for the first time
Myself again

I thought I understood love in all of it's forms,
But the love as a mother is one that needs to be lived to be understood.

Loving a child made me love myself, and husband more that I thought possible.

I became strong
because it's what I wanted her to be.

I sang sweet songs and gave gentle kisses

I sacrificed my life
and received my soul.

We grow and learn
through failure and success

We teach each other how to tolerate, love, and create

They will leave me one day
and hopefully I will be left with the person I have always wanted to be.

My life will be mine again and I will keep my soul.

Learning to read

2011-06-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

We are working on literacy with Layla.

It's so neat to be the one who is teaching her to read. Until now all the skills she has mastered have been natural, eg: walking, talking, using a bathroom ect.

This one is different on a few levels.
1:not everyone eventually learns to read.
2: Reading is so important to me, humanities most beautiful toughs are expressed though writing, Reading is what keeps me sane and brings me so much pleasure. It's the vacation or adventure I have when I cant go anywhere. It's the other life I never lived. it's the complex thoughts that make me change.
I can't wait to share the universe of the written word with her.
I love being a part of the progression and watching her get better every day.
This has been one of the more rewarding parts of motherhood

We play this game she calls stories.
I printed off 10 simple words. a good mix of sight words and words that can be sounded out phonetically I told her what each word was. I ask her to build a particular sentence.
When she gets the sentence right, she would draw a picture to go with the sentence.

*she is just learning I am not saying she can read*

I have a Fake Rack

2011-06-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

I know you all were thinking it.
And some times it feels like the elephant in the room
two perky saline filled elephants.

now that i have got that "off my chest"
Let me tell you about it.

They are one of my medium (c) size regrets. (I have done a lot of crazy things in my 26 years)

You see it's not the result of the operation that I am disappointed with.

They are really nice.

It myself I am disappointed with

I got them before I became a mom, before I became a wife and after a "dark period in my life"

Now I have two beautiful girls.
Girls who are never going to grow boobs.
Girls who I want to raise to know that they are beautiful
That there bodies are perfect.
I want them to have good self-esteem
But I feel like my augmented bests might get in the way of my message.

Like I said they are really nice, so I imagine it will be hard for them when they realize that they will never have more than a handful. Besides being bombarded with messages via the media of what an ideal shape is, their own mother has altered her body to conform.

I can be very level headed at times, And when I am grounded it just seems... silly that I spent money and went through the pain to put fake boobs on the front of my body?

Ya know?

I know quite a few ladies have them and I mean no offense, and I would never judge your rational for getting yours done. ( please don't read this and feel offended.)

And I know quite a few ladies looking forward to the operation. (not even my Colin could talk me out of mine)

But if you are toying with the idea, I just wanted to throw my two cents in

so now you know...perhaps more than you wanted to.

weekending

2011-06-05T12:36:00.000-07:00

This place smells just the way childhood should smell.

the water is crisp and full of life.

The girls are slatherd in sunscreen and they spend the day catching frogs.

Mommy birds feed little worms to there babies.

everyone is hungry and worn out by the end of the day.

Life is good when you slow down and notice it.

was it good for you?

2011-06-03T07:09:00.000-07:00

Hears the deal.
The Man who has my whole heart (minus the tiny part saved for Shawn Connery) is not the best kisser I have kissed. He is a great kiss just not the best of all the people I have kissed.

Rest assured the feelings are returned on his part.

To clarify, when he kisses me it can be a sensual, and powerful kiss

But we both have had better..ahem... in the kissing category. I have asked around and I feel like I am alone in this department

Everyone I have ~~spoken~~ secretly whispered to said, that their spouse was the best kisser hands down.

Are they lying to me?
Or do you decide to marry off of kissing alone?
Is your spouse the best?

My best kisser was a good foot taller than me, I think he liked me a lot but I don't think he was in love with me.

So I conclude that it is not affection that make a good kisser, I think it's the full lips.
I considered marrying those lips but with out Love I did not see things working out for me and the Lips.

This could just be the reasoning that I have come up to sooth both of our bruised egos; and as long as we are the only couple who is not married to the best kissers in the world I am going to believe it.

And to tell you the truth I don't mind, I actually like a bit of competition.

Take a littel look at me

2011-06-02T10:59:00.000-07:00

My Mother-in Law sent me a Camera in the mail. So here we are

Layla & Maya

Thanks so much Love: Ana, Layla, Maya

A moment of truth

2011-06-01T23:26:00.000-07:00

I am up late...
Way to late for my own good. I am thinking about my blog.
I have not really felt like blogging since my camera was misplaced.

I figure that no one wants to read a blog without pictures.

But if you are still reading, this is whats on my mind...

I censor this blog so completely that sometimes I don't even recognize it as my own.

I don't write about the things I want to beacause I worry about what the (3) people who possibly read this thing might think about me.

I wish I could say that I do this for me and it's a journal but... Thats not true.
I have a journal, I still write with a pen on paper in a journal. (old fashion I know)
I have a personal Blog that I write in... It's for my girls, and Husband

These "journals are very private, Colin has never read my journal and possibly never will.
(the jury is still out if he gets to when I die)

I guess I keep this blog beacause it's the only thing I write with the intention of sharing.
It's the only time my writing is read by another.

So you guys who are still reading this post, thanks!

It Grew

2011-05-30T19:50:00.000-07:00

and then it stopped.

our family was growing

almost to five then back to four.

The growing Life died

It died inside of me.

I feel numb and contaminated

I feel sad and Scared

I cry now a lot.

The hormones override reason

I tell my girls and feel a lump in my throat rise

I talk to my husband and put on a brave face

The fetus exits and I begin to shake

Cold chills, and ringing ears

I lay in bed and begin to feel happy again

the feeling of relief grows exponentially

I am no longer scared, The numbness wears off

I am sad at times but I can feel hope too.

I Grew because of this.

attack by midgets

2011-04-12T15:16:00.000-07:00

Today I was targeted by both my girls for a synchronized attack

They waited patiently for the opportune moment....
A Phone call (do all kids act out while there moms are on the phone?)

Then they ran up to me and each started biting a leg.

I tried to keep my cool and swat the beasts off my legs, but since one hand was holding the phone it was completely ineffective.

So I did what any person being attacked by midgets would do..

Used my much longer legs to run away.

Both of them chased me chomping at the air as I ran circles around the table.

I have two growing fears as a result of the attack

#1. I am not sure I would be able to out run a full grown angry midget mob.

#2 I don't think I will be able to fill all the student housing spots this summer; since it sounds like a zoo instead of an office.

PS. I have lost my camera and don't know when I will be getting a new one so.... you should google image midgets to make the post complete. I did!
There were too many good ones to choose from

Why I should go to church

2011-03-01T18:37:00.000-08:00

This week my family was in town, so naturally I skipped Sunday services.
Skipping church while trying to keep the 4th commandment makes for a LONG day.
So by 11:00 am I had decided my littlest baby needed some bangs.
(before I had kids It would have been me who needed bangs)

Naturally these bangs were and emergency like is said she "NEEDED" them.
so I gave her a flat of blueberry's and she had her first hair cut.

I now have to postpone family photos a few months.

Good things to come

2011-02-24T09:00:00.000-08:00

We now have a place for our kids to play outside. Apartment living rarely allows for outside space. Before the fence was built we had to go to the park any time the kids wanted to go outside.
Now I am just waiting on some sunshine!

The world is her oyster

2011-02-23T09:47:00.000-08:00

This one has so much spunk and is smart as a whip.
She is undoubtedly cut out for this world and will do remarkably well in it.
It's fascinating and frustrating being her mom but she is making me a better person every day.
Her will is so determined and it's no wonder that our little surprise baby circumvented the IUD and made her way into our family and onto center stage. I know Maya has had the same tenacious spirit for an eternity, my job is not to break her spirit but to encourage it.

Handmade Valentines

2011-02-18T07:22:00.000-08:00

The surest way to your valentines heart is with a thoughtful card, Something unique that shows how much time and thought you put in to it. Maybe a sonnet, or a poem or something?

But if your valentine happens to be a man I guarantee you that the one that I made below will work wonders!

The inside has a few erotic comments and somehow I still came off cute in my husbands eyes. My elusive goal of hotness/ sexy is still yet to be reached

fingerless gloves

2011-02-17T10:12:00.000-08:00

My latest project is finished. I made 4 pairs of the above gloves for Christmas. all of them were finished on time except for Kim's.
Poor Kimmy never gets Christmas gifts from me.

It's the middle of February and I am finally done with Christmas gifts.

The pattern is a cinch for beginner knitters and it goes quite fast as long a you don't have munchkins interrupting you to frequently

pea's and carrots

2011-02-15T06:39:00.000-08:00

These two are a sweet couple. Perfect opposites. They make my heart happy

Happy Valentines Day!

Spicy

2011-01-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

A few years back I became restless and bored with my life.
It felt to routine and drab. especially in the romance department.

I dicided to take action

i said " we need to spice things up"

colin paused for a seccond then suggested we try bowling.

bowling was no innuendo it was his straight forward solution.

I have never thought of bowling as an aphrodisiac, but more of a greasy past time

needles to say we did not go bowling.

Tweedy dress

2011-01-14T22:08:00.000-08:00

I took on my first big knitting project. It's a bella colour toddler Jumper.
They came off my needles right in time to be placed under the Christmas tree.

My girls are young enough to think I am pretty great so they especially love their dresss.

Frosty

2011-01-13T20:50:00.000-08:00

Layla and Maya love snow men, who doesn't ?

but there is one thing that will not be tolerated by Maya and that is being cold.

couple that with a pair of lost mittens and you can see the predicament it puts us in.

I took the girls outside to build the long promised snowman
Maya froze then began to melt down into a puddle of tears.

I took her inside and she watched me and Layla build one with out her and that enraged her.

we had better luck with the sledding.

Industrial strength

2010-12-16T23:24:00.000-08:00

This is the Christmas goodie that was planing on delivering to friends and neighbors.

It caramel. Over cooked caramel. I considered throwing the cutting board away since the caramel had adhered to it. My kitchen tools were no match for this cooking disaster, I had to get the reall tools to free my poor cutting board.

Fa La la la La la la la la

** The knife was stuck too. I could not get it out of the caramel.

I'm Sleeeping in

2010-12-15T09:05:00.000-08:00

I sent the girls to phoenix for a week.
I am so lucky my mom begs to do this for me.
everyone keeps asking if i miss them, and the truth is making me worry.
I don't miss them in the way I think I should.

You see I have never been someone who has been homesick, or Cried for there mom at girls camp.
I have never understood that kind of attachment, and longing after a few nights.
I have missed people but mainly due to boredom with out them.
So I don't really miss my kids, and the boredom is welcome.

I would be sad if i never got to see them again, but I am not counting down the days to pick them up.
Maybe I am emotinaly stunted, but it must be genetic since my little girls don't seem to miss me either.
I am glad they don't seem to miss me. It washes all maternal guilt away.

Mahoney Christmas letter

2010-12-10T00:17:00.000-08:00

I went back through all my old posts and I have to admit, my blog made me happy, so did some of the comments. I realized how much I enjoy having these posts to read over. Since I have fallen of the world wide grid, I have privatized my blog and have stopped visiting other blogs frequently. This has lead to me hardly posting. I don't know why? Maybe I do need validation? I am going to admit that when someone comments and says something nice it makes me feel good.
I am not above things like that so why pretend?
So judge for your self why I am a public blogger, the fact is i am and I can't help it.

That being said, I finished my Christmas cards and actually mailed them, We ordered a (very very) limited number so I did not send them out to as many people as I would have liked. So I am giving you the next best thing. a virtual Christmas card. Still be my friend ok?

For you viewing pleasure the Mahoney Family

Along with our christmas letter....

Happy Holidays everyone.

It’s the time of year where my best intentions make it to the planning stage. If you receive this letter before the holidays it means both the children are napping and I have run out of audio books. While this may become an annual letter, I promise nothing and you would do well to expect slightly less than that.

Our children are growing at the usual speed of children, which is both too fast and some how not fast enough. Layla is 3 years old and a good older sister ( I should know) who is constantly looking out for her sister and tattling on her when she is doing something naughty, she is also a very honest girl who confesses to hitting/pushing/ yelling without remorse. She is potty trained and can dress her self, her outfits and pajamas usually include a pink tutu over the top. She is our little princess.

Maya is 2 years old and finally has hair. Her motor skills have improved to the point where she is able to get more food in her mouth than on the floor. She is talking/ commanding all the time. This year she introduced herself to the mall Santa by running up slapping her chest and saying in her loudest deepest voice “Maya” (she can make her voice comically deep) . she then climbed in his lap and looked up at his beard with suspicion.

Having both the girls talking constantly can make one crazy. So I keep my sanity by using my children’s communicative powers to stroke my ego, my latest accomplishment has been to teach Layla, and Maya to say that dad is 100 years old and mommy is 21. Besides amusing my self with chores, and books I have learned to knit this year. I aspire to someday make those old lady Christmas sweaters. Dream big right?

Colin is a man who is loved; having 3 girls at home keeps him in no short supply of kisses, hugs and tantrums. He has survived this past semester and only has 1 more to go. If all goes well he will graduate in the spring. Maybe after graduation he will get a hobby that I can inform you of.

This year has been a good one for our little family and we wish the best to your family in the upcoming year,

Merry Christmas
Ana

2010-11-15T15:04:00.000-08:00

Maya turned 2 this week.
She is my little baby girl, but she is growing so fast.

Her spirit is incredible to me. It's a blend of sweetness and ferocity that makes me excited to see the woman she will become.
Her strong will and curiosity get her into trouble. I have to constantly remind my self that although these traits are not my favorite in a two year old they are everything I think is admirable in an adult. It's a daily struggle not to stifle her development.

We need her in our family. She brings the balance in to our personalities, Layla has benefited most of all from having such an amours little sister.

I am so grateful to God for Maya's infinite spirit.

Maya the bee and Layla lady bug

2010-10-30T11:19:00.000-07:00

Maya The Bee

Layla Lady Bug

Dixie Trunk or Treat


Mama Skeleton

The Whole Family

Things are changing

2010-09-25T15:03:00.000-07:00

The other day I got an email from my Dad with pictures he had taken of my girls. It made me think that he would probably love to see more photos of them and be filled in on more details of there daily life. So I finally privatized my blog and invited some family to read along.

It's been a while since I have written any thing besides a shopping list so it may take me a while before I get back in the literary saddle. But I do promise cute pic of the babies so keep checking in on us ok?

Summer '10 Zion

I am trying my hand at being a red head

Aunty Alex


Tried to potty train both girls at 1 time

Maya never Caught on

Hooray! Layla Is potty Trained Now.

5 years of Marriage

Cute beds Tim made


Maya sleeping in her new bed!

I will Try to post a few times a week and will add a lot more detail.

We love you guys

Ana.

such stuff as dreams are made on.

2010-01-28T18:40:00.000-08:00

"will you tell me what reality in all the world was not first a dream" (the romantic prince)

Nothing in this world exists that was not first imagined
think about it for a minute.

It is our imagination that first made us human (Loren Eisley)

Our drive to create and to fantasize is inherent. Imagination is the most powerful and beautiful thing in existence.
I often measure creative on a large scale, such as artistic talent in any form (music, art written dance).
but
creating can be something as simple as creating a memory with my children, creating an edible meal, or getting creative with the budget.

I want my children to grow up creative, I want to allow the impossible and ridiculous to flourish in our home. Silliness encouraged and the absurd commonplace.

here is a little clip on education I thought was interesting
The meat and potatoes of the clip is at about 9 min

Jump on it

2010-01-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

I have been in weird non sharing unable to create mood.

But be prepared to shake you tail feather to this ditty

how can you not?

hopefully this posting thing becomes a habit

In the mean time we are looking forward to taking Layla skiing over president's day.

Look at that happy little face

Finals Aftermath

2009-12-18T19:10:00.000-08:00

Hear is a big time selfestem boost for everyone out there.

Ta-daa

I am just keeping it real with proof of how awesome I am at house wifery

and the icing on the cake is our diets consisted of anything that could cause diabetes

Good thing children are resistant

Luckily finals week ended just before we ran out of clean underwear. (maybe?)

All inclusive

2009-11-17T19:27:00.000-08:00

My two best friends just had babies
I am a little jellous
not for the babies but for the hospital stay.
I love hospitals.
I know most people don't, and they complain about them
some people would rather give birth in their own bed's to avoid having to be bothered with a hospital.

I am not sick and twisted.
Just lazy.

Hospitals are like all inclusive resorts: (with a hefty price tag)

Breakfast in bed is standard procedure, so is lunch and dinner.
Drinks, and snacks are brought upon request.

Maid service daily.
little button to push to call for a nurse to do your bidding.

MEDICATION
chased down with your choice of liquids

No cooking
Lot's of visitors
no laundry
No school or work

I could use a real vacation, maybe then I could hate hospitals.

THIS IS not IT

2009-11-09T19:41:00.000-08:00

Pardon my blasphemy but I was never a huge Micheal fan.

I think I missed him in is hay day, since I was the oldest kid and had no older sibling to show me
the way to awesomeness

But I do love me some powerline

Gather the family and

Enjoy some Micheal inspired animation

Sex appeal

2009-11-06T12:37:00.000-08:00

Some people have an undeniable amount of it,

others can't even fake it.
no need to state what category I fall in to.

one night I whispered "have dirty dreams of me tonight" in Colin's ear as he was falling asleep

the next morning he informed me he dreamed that I had pooped on the floor.

Nice! right?
I think I am done trying.
I have made peace with my lack of sexiness

and understand that any effort on my part will be viewed as "cute"( not quite the same I know) or worse.

Penguin and Walrus

2009-11-04T17:07:00.000-08:00

Layla started to roll play with her toys, (whew!)

these two are her and Maya. They slide down the slides together in the bathtub. and babble with each other.

Maya is the walrus. I can tell since the pinguin is always helping the purple walrus out.
A pretty apt pick I think. Maya has two teeth, is chubby and crawls around.

Pick your battles

2009-11-01T13:25:00.000-08:00

Haloween use to be my favorite holiday.

but apparently it is a "kids" holiday which leaves the adults stuck with valentines day and mothers/fathers day (Bummer)
This year I was lame and dressed up as a cat.
I was a cat for 5 minutes before this happened

My little Layla elephant was so jealous she lost the ability to stand.
She shriked and cried while I weighed out my options.

1: I could use this as a teaching moment and reinforce the fact that you can't always get what you want.

or

2: Give her my costume and and not dress up for my favorite holiday.

I played out the first scenario in my mind, and it was an ugly fight between me and a two year old over who was wearing what.

I did what any good mother who was an hour late for the trunker treat would have done

Threw down the ears and ended up being a mom with WAY too much eye make up for Halloween
After all Halloween is a kids holiday.
I just expect a finger painted masterpiece when mothers day roles around.

She did make a good kitten. I don;t regret it at all

Maya on the other hand was the sweetest lobster around. she was content to chew on her tentacles and be pinched by all the old ladies.

Laylita

2009-10-09T13:39:00.000-07:00

I was so stressed when I found out that Layla was going to be a big sister. I thought she was to young to share the spotlight.

Now I know that Layla needed Maya in every way

Maya is better for her than the years of spoiling I had planned

Maya makes her

They are perfect for one another

Thank God for surprises

genes and jeans

2009-10-06T20:09:00.000-07:00

I gained a lot of weight with my 1st pregnancy
65 pounds to be exact
65 pounds on my 5'4" frame
65 pounds and the most beautiful baby I had ever seen
healthy and happy.
I wasn't happy about that weight
but I worked at it
5 months into losing I had 15 left to go
5 months in I was pregnant again and began to gain
2 years and 11months in total and I am in jeans that actually button
they don't fit the same
they are looser and tighter in different areas
my entire shape has changed
I love the change
I feel pretty. my body doesn't look like it's 16 any more and that's okay with me
It has changed me for the better, I am a mom and my body
bears the marks of bringing life.
bears the scars, dark circles and laugh lines associated with motherhood.
I am proud.

P.S. My usb cord is lost so... maybe some pic's of the girls when I find it

Ill get off my soap box

2009-10-01T19:27:00.000-07:00

but first one last thing

An inspiring band of women in India.

*thanks for the link brooke**

not a dirty word

2009-09-30T13:47:00.000-07:00

My sister and I were venting about how degrading certain bumper sticker are when the F word was brought up

Feminism

people will write you off in a conversation in one word
"feminist"

I know that feminism comes in all varying degrees
some actually wear high heals, and bras

the point is

I am glad to be a woman
I am glad I can choose how to celebrate and my womanhood;
weather it be in home baked bread or leading corporations

I am glad I chose to marry,
I chose to have kids
I chose to get an education
I chose to be a stay at home mother
and I choose to enjoy sex

and I know the people I have to thank for my freedom to choose are the pioneers in woman suffrage and feminist movements, but no less importantly my own mother who is a strong women herself

I know women everywhere are still fighting the battle for the female sex. (thank you)

I am fighting the battle in my own way
I may seem tame in comparison to others
but within the wall of my own home with my two daughters and myself
we are changing the way we allow the word to view us

When someone accuses me of "feminism" I feel a surge of pride.
and I usually don't like being part of an "ism"

**this is not a formal argumentative piece, there are so many facets to such a complex issue that I would never assume to write about it in a blog setting this if taken at face value is just my own way I enjoy womanhood**

Queen of Coronna

2009-09-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

I start out the day with song
I usually pick out a track to dedicate to the morning.
Then me and the girls dance for Colin in the living room
and sing along.

Simon and G-funkel are my go to guys lately

1st tour together in 25 years happyday

me & julio down by the schoolyard - Paul simon

survival of the fittest

2009-09-27T23:02:00.000-07:00

My Dad bought Layla a tickle me cookie monster last Christmas
She was terrified of it
and that is exactly why my Dad bought.
as a new mom I thought he was cruel and cookie spent most of his time in the closet now that I have had 2 children and realize babies they are fairly resilient
Cookie is seeing the light of day

Layla is in the back leaving Maya to fight off freaky cookie herself

once the coast is clear she runs to the closet and hides.

sorry its sideways

*they both like cookie monster now and no physiological damage is apparent
If it surfaces during their teen years I will know that they are perfectly adjusted adolescents.*

insert clever title here

2009-09-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

I completely privatized my blog last week or was it the one before that? hmmm?
You did not get an envite beacaus I was too
lazy/busy

to post let alone invite anyone
so I am back blogging to the public
I realized that the comments that I was getting was just spam since I did not have word verification on so... I am going to take my chances.

Maybe I will think pseudonyms to call my family members

probably not since that too would require editing all my past posts

Original Gangsta MEmories

2009-09-02T23:36:00.000-07:00

While most girls grew up wanting to look like Barbie, I had LARGER self image issues that I was battling in middle school.

I grew up in Maui.

People always say "Awesome, I love Hawaii"

and I agree the resorts or whatever Luau you attended was probably just that...
"Awesome"
but I actually lived there,
like not at the resort, or the Polynesian Cultural Center
but in a neighborhood
where my parents rented a home for 15years and sent all of their Kids to
public school...
Ahem! I said, public school.
still not following me?
I'll paint the picture for you
I was white; with white blond hair and blue eyes. (where was barbie when I needed her?)
I was a "Haole" (I find this term offensive) and there for I was told by class mates on occasion that my "haole-ness" was the reason I was not allowed to play with them; or why I had to use different shampoo at slumber parties.

I was terrified of the cafeteria and ate in the bathroom stall or the science teachers room.

so while most girls were comparing themselves to barbie
I had something different in mind.
I wished I was Hawaiian, Tongan, Korean, Japanese, or anything besides plain white.

I would sit in front of the mirror and pull the corners of my eyes into slants and hold them there hoping that they would eventually stay.

back to the inspiration for this post

I have been a journal writer my entire life.
In my 6th grade journal I have a little gem that I want to share
it's an illustration that I drew in 6th grade

this is what I wanted to look like so so badly

Dang Gina...
now that is "AWESOME"
** as you can see my outfit of choice included a Nike sweat band, Black vest with white stitching over a Belly shirt that reads "spoiled" coupled with red boxers and baggy pants all pulled together with black mole/beauty mark**

Uh..What is right.

and just for authentication supposes this is that actual entry it came from. Looks like my crush on Shane Monson (we grew up together) was over and I was now IN LOVE with Mark.. I am sure Shane was heartbroken.

As for going private that was not a joke. I am just in the midst of setting up a private blog and keeping some of the post on this one public... I don't know. it's a bit complicated

cus that how I roll

private

2009-08-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

I have been getting some comments that are a bit creepy so I am going private
let me know if you want to still read.

Potential

2009-08-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

I am full of it, I might even have extraordinary potential. My only problem is it always stays that way.

My potential never turns in to anything more than just that. I lack the one ingredient necessary to turn out some wonderful quality or skill.
That ingredient being motivation.

I am constantly in the "planning" stage and it never moves on from there.
I always feel tired,

my home is messy more than it is clean

and

the pile of laundry gradually shifts from clean to dirty with out being folded.

It's 11:30 and I am still in my pajamas... ok my underwear at least I could answer the door in my PJ's.

This may sound like depression, but I don't feel sad. Just Lazy.

**So If It was your Birthday this month and I did not even send a card. (Mom and Tish)
I apologize. I debated the late birthday card but then over thought what you would think about it so I just didn't do anything.

**If we still have not had the promised play dates (Lou, Christine, Hrm. Lopez) I am sorry I was still in my underwear at the time of our play date and had to cancel. Sorry.

**As far as Thank You Notes be expecting them some time before thanksgiving. Sorry and Thank you!

the good news is I am going back to school so I will have to get ready and out the door by 11 at least 5 days a week.

Thanks

2009-08-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

for the Visit Great Grandma.
and the knitting lessons.

Layla turns Two

2009-08-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

Sweet Little Layla turns Two today
She had a Party Last weekend, Complete with Cupcakes, Sidewalk Chalk, Face Painting, and Staying up past bedtime. The only thing missing was the presence of any Kids Layla's age. I really need to work on making friends for her.

Pop's le stache

Layla's inner artist

sharing with James the Buttler

I measure a successful party on how hammered you are when its over

SUCCESS!

I love my Sweet baby doll. I am so happy that I am a mother. I love watching her grow up to be Herself. Her little soul is tender, observant, and Old. I hope that I can continue to nurture and direct her for years to come.
I love you my little Queen.

Pastoral Potty Training

2009-08-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

I had one goal for our week vacation and that was potty training Layla. I decided to approach the issue the same way I approach all obsticals, with Food.
I had salty snacks to make her thirsty, sugary drink to keep her parched, fruit for fiber and Popsicles for good measure. We striped down and spent the day eating in the shade, picking flowers and waiting on mother natures call.
the 1st accident was on the trampoline, we cleaned it up and talked about using the potty next time.
our second accident was when she took a deuce behind the car. I should have been watching closer.

Third times a charm.
Layla ran to the potty and sat down. once she began to pee she stood up and took a steep and urinated all over Maya.
Maya was all smiles and began splashing in the small puddle.
Colin and I congratulated Layla with a round of applause for practically using the potty.

and that was that.
our daughter is not any closer to being toilet trained than she was before we started.

She may have picked up on it if I stuck with for a couple days, but we had too many plans. On my next attempt I will plan on staying home for a few days so she can get a handle on it.

Road trip on the Greyhound

2009-08-03T10:23:00.000-07:00

as you may recall we don't have a car, (remember ?)
We typically rent a car when ever we are going on a trip, but this time we decided to save some cash and experience for our first time

The Glories Of The Greyhound.

As we waited to load our luggage under the bus the passengers stared out of the window dreading our boarding the buss with our two children. The crowed was definitively a "rougher" crowed than the typical st. Georgian, but since this bus came from Vegas I shouldn't have been surprised.

the ride got eventful when we left a passenger in cedar city. He hitched hiked and caught back up to us in cove fort. After he and the bus driver exchanged some UNpleasantries. He collected his luggage and got a different ride. That was not the end of the confrontation either. a few minutes later another passenger came to the front of the bus to tell the driver that she was full of...something or other.

lucky for us we made it in one piece. and even luckier the air conditioning broke on our return trip so we ended up renting a car for the ride home.

So as far as taking the greyhound again... I would in a heart beat. if It was just me. but with kids in tow and car rentals being pretty reasonable I doubt we will make a family trip out of it ever again.

Our Ride. I would sum it up by saying that it's exactly like an airplane except instead of arriving in a tropical vacation spot after 4 hours you arrive in Provo.

P.S. The girls did awesome. they slept most of the way
we reached meltdown only 20 minutes outside of Provo.

MEmories "dew"

2009-07-20T17:14:00.000-07:00

Buns of steel Burke was my Ultimate unobtainable High School crush.
As far as I am aware he never had a girl friend in high school, which is one reason why I liked him, the other reason is clear in his pet name "buns of steel" I was always attracted to the asexual, artsy dungeons and dragons type. My problem was I never knew how to attract them to me.

This is when We (Lou,and Britta) developed a plan.
We (they) decided the best action to take in professing my hormonal attraction to MR. Buns-o-steel would be to "hint" that I might like him.

where most Girls felt it appropriate to flirt a little or ask said crush to a dance, we certainly had unorthodox methods.

a 12 pack of Mt.Dew was purchased along with fuchsia post-it's
We then hand delivered a can of mt. Dew to Burk's house with a note saying that "someone wants to Dew you"

I am sure his religious Mother was thrilled.
I am sure my religious Mother is thrilled as she is reading this

We spent the rest of the afternoon delivering can's around town to various boys.

I don't know what was wrong with bright orange cans of "crush" but apparently they did not convey the message we were going for?

I seriously hope that he did not receive his can, since that would have been the only actual communication we have ever had, because after all I am a Classy Lady

This is how we Do it

2009-07-17T08:54:00.000-07:00

Spaghetti Dinner with my girls

Efficient clean up

how could I resist. So if you're an O.G. mac or a wanna be Player. go ahead and get your middle school dance on

P.s it takes a second to play

Middle weight Chapion

2009-07-15T22:23:00.000-07:00

Colin Just got a new Job at the hospital, so he will be leaving the old person home behind. He may not miss his old job but I know he will be missed not only by the 48 year old haggard co-worker who has sent him (beyond) dirty text messages and tries to brush up against him in the halls. But he too will be missed by his arch nemesis "Gretta" Gretta currently holds the record for the most swings and punches making contact with Colin's Face and Throat

"Gretta"
Ht: 5'2 and shrinking
Wt: 97LB
Education: School of Hard Knocks
Finishers and signature Moves:
"Gretta gutteral" and Money Shot

(Photo and Name have been altered)

Colin
Ht: 5'9 3/4
Wt: 148
Education:AA Degree and CNA
Finishers and signature moves:
Log Roll and Dead Man's Lift

Gretta is a worthy opponent.

Who ever takes Colin's place will need Speed, Agility,comfy shoes and the ability, to withstand hurling when poop is smeared on them.

Fluke

2009-07-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

We have attempted a family Photo numerous times. As a whole I am willing to bet that we have the least photogenic family of all.
Separately the girls look sweet, Colin Looks attractive, and I look 5 pounds lighter. But...
when our forces combined, the Pictures ends up looking something like this
Layla is trying to escape
Maya is crying,
Coin looks aggravated
And Me
I look like I am about to have a nervous break down.
but don't worry that's just how it looks It definitely never is like that at our house
...
Ever.

So it's a complete fluke that we got a cute one before church on our 1st try

Style

2009-07-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

Layla has her own sense of style, We lovingly call her "Frankenstein" when she puts together her own outfit. She poses when she know she is looking awesome. Between her obsession for accessorizing and her infatuation with males I think Colin and I will have the Karma police after us in about in 12 years.

In this one she looks more like andre3000

I had to throw this one of Maya in her papoose.

Thanks for the Pic's Aj

Bath Duel

2009-07-02T17:13:00.000-07:00

These two are having the ultimate splash battle. A winner could not be determined due to Layla pooping in the Tub. Tournament will reconvene tomorrow evening after dinner. Best of Luck to both competitors.

Place you bets here!
Maya has 5:1 odds

Simba the Gentle

2009-06-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

This cute Guy is Simba.
I first met Simba when he was a little pup in Costa Rica. He would chew anything.
In my brief encounter with simba there he managed to eat my ring, chew my shoes, tear my skirt, and nip my hands.

Now he is older and has more than quadrupled his puppy weight. He out grew his chewing and is a well behaved dog. He allowed Layla to feed him nearly an entire bag of Gold Fish crackers; 1/2 a fish at a time. Waiting patiently while she tried to teach him the baby sign for Please before he could have another.

He also did not chew on Maya's floppy ears.

The Zoo

2009-06-26T13:43:00.000-07:00

Greetings form the San Diego zoo
I can't wait to go back we didn't even get to the monkeys, the petting zoo, the lions, or the tigers before the girls had melt downs.

Elephant Odyssey was Layla's favorite part

Colin's rendition of baby giraffe

The $8.00 kids meal sure made Layla smile, to bad she didn't eat it

1st beach trip

2009-06-24T19:21:00.000-07:00

I tend to avoid situations that require extra work, that is why I have not taken my girls to the beach. Trying to wrangle them, in dry enclosed spaces is about my limit.

I finally got brave enough to try the beach with the girls.
I was going to have so much help this time around there was no excuse not to.

Layla enjoyed chasing seagulls, while Maya ate sand and I... ate
It was a cloudy day so swimsuits were impractical. (bonus)
Colin who had determined before we left our home that to much time had passed since he had last surfed was going to surf with his brother regardless this time; he actually got into the water.
I could do the beach any day with an entourage of this magnitude, they even packed the lunch.

Layla and Pop's- She has mastered the scowl but I am pretty sure she is having fun

Sand face baby

Watching Colin

Seriously this is the best one I have of us...If you guys have a better one send it my way

Aunty A.J. gull-chaser extraordinaire

my peep's minus some = no babysitting for me!

This is what a baby who has been fed and loved and spoiled all day looks like

Sold

2009-06-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

We have finally sold both of our cars.

I am so pumped to try life as a pedestrian

so far it's been two weeks with out a car and it's actually been pretty good

The Bus is fun and easy to ride, the girls especially like it. There is always some

one anxious to give me advice or talk my ear off the entire ride.

I have lost 2 pounds with all the walking I am doing now, and it has saved me from many a milkshake since I am typicaly too lazy to walk and get one.

So if you see this Red stroller crusin around that's me.

P.S. I've even dug out my trusty Rollerblades. Boom-Shaka-La-Ka

CrapTastic

2009-06-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

Well this week has been hard
really hard
Maya has had an ear infection for 3 weeks now
the 2nd round of antibiotics have not completely cleared it up.
but what they have done is caused her to
Vomit
and
Diarrhea (can I use diarrhea as a verb like that?)
all over me and Colin on multiple occasions.

To top this off; one of the residents (a girl) clogged the toilet and it flooded the apartment beneath them. So it's not enough that I am constantly changing diapers and cleaning up puke, but this evening I had to give a 20-something year old girl a basic lesson on how to plunge a toilet.

Lame.

so in honor of lifting spirits everywhere I am dedicating this song to any one who can sing along at the top of there lungs

feel better

A Bull in a China Shoppe

2009-06-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

most Brides pick out a set of china for there weddings.
unless of course they receive china that is handed down from mother to daughter.
I didn't have china
#1. my family is much to big for handing down heirlooms
#2. I Eloped... No Wedding
The 1st question people ask when they hear I eloped is "where did you elope to"
when I answer that we went to the 3rd floor of the Provo court house to be married and then we registered our cars on the ground floor after our impromptu ceremony most don't hide their disenchantment by my story.
That's when I quickly add that the only Jamaican guy in Provo happened to be in the hall applying for a marriage license with his hefty white fiance. After chasing them down they agreed shocked and giggling to be our witnesses.
That only sometimes appeases the listener
The next question I assume (since no one dares ask) is if I was pregnant at the time ... I was not pregnant just bull headed.

Our families of course gave us "gifts" in the form of cold hard cash and lots of it; which could have been spent on China and furnishings but the great majority of it was spent in riotous living.

I have hardly thought about my lack of china until I came across a treasure in the thrift shop.

I found an almost complete 12 piece H&Z Austrian china set that is over 100 years old.
for the price of $37.50
When I saw it I informed Colin that I never got a china set since I never had a wedding and he promptly bought it for me.

This china was made before salt and pepper shakers were common at the table so this tinny plate holds the salt and pepper to be sprinkled on your meal

My favorite piece is the crescent shaped dish. I have no idea what it is for

Do you?

Maybe salad?

spontaneous

2009-06-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

4 years ago

I had only known Colin for two weeks when I applied for a passport.
He was now in Costa Rica and I was planing on meeting him there.
I boarded a plane with $40.00, and a handful of Spanish words that I could butcher in one breath; the majority being body parts Colin had taught me in our 1st week together.
I didn't remember the name of the town I was going to.
I had never left the country.
And my return plane ticket was 2 weeks later.
I just know that he told me he would pick me up at the airport.

Somewhere over the ocean I began to have my 1st sensible thoughts.
What if he diddn't show up
Who would I call...I don't even know my country code. How would I place a call?
$40.00 would not get me very much and obviously would not book me a return flight.
What if we don't like each other? and so on.
I decided that I would not formulate a plan until it was necessary.

my plotting skills never got put to use because he showed up as promised. my free spirited spontaneity paid off. Later I was presented with a braided coconut ring and he asked me to be His.

now we don't have the luxury of adventures, a trip alone to target is about as crazy as it gets for me it's a bonus if I get to shower before. I have become a mother two times and it has changed me physically and expanded me emotionally. What has not changed is my free spirit, although I am His I am freer to be me than I have ever been.

Shady Lady

2009-05-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

I don't wear sunglasses...I always seem to lose them in about 6 days time.
If I don't lose them I lose interest in them or Colin laughs at me when I have them on.
I know that one day I will meet my perfect match,
my soul mate so to speak,(as far as shades go).
It is my faith that keeps me searching for the perfect pair.

My searching has paid off... for Layla
she now has her very own pair of glasses and she completely loves them!

Blue, Rojo and the star spanglish banner

2009-05-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

Before Colin and I got married we had to negotiate a few things.
I was lacking in a few areas that he hoped for in a future mate

1. I was not a fast runner

and

2. I did not speak spanish

I agreed to learn Spanish, and he agreed to marry me despite my duck like run.

this was not a one sided deal I had my request too.
one of them being we teach our future children Spanish.

5 Spanish classes and two babies latter I am still not fluent but I am ok at speaking... as long as I don't get nervous.

however
Layla has started to talk.
she has been somewhat of a late bloomer in the verbal department.
Until recently she has been using baby sign coupled with a shrill whine in order to get her needs met.
It was making me absolutely crazy.

Now she uses all kinds of words, she even picks up new ones pretty quickly.
Colin and I have been trying to teach her Spanish and she is a smart little girl.
So far it is looking like she will be fluent in Spanglish!
She prefers to use the shortest words from either language.
From what I have read on line is they shold grow out of this habit eventualy.

how long is eventually?
do you know any tips?

Maya's Miles of Smiles

2009-05-20T12:31:00.000-07:00

Say that 10 times fast.
.
.
.
.
.
it has finally made it photographic debut.
Missy Maya's smile. It's a rarity to have a picture of it because the camera makes her so curious.

have a happy national smile month.

Babies Mama's Mama's

2009-05-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

Yeah this one right here goes out to all the baby's mamas, mamas...
Mamas, mamas, baby mamas, mamas
Yeah!

That street for you Grandma's

Lot's -o- pictures

Lot's -o- love

Ana

Feeling completely entitled to my soda and sub. Layla knows how to grind!
The other night I made dinner and realized that she did not approve of soup from scratch when she pulled a chair over to the pantry and proceeded to fend for her self. She ended up eating a cinnamon raisin bagel on the drain board.

Finally catching on to "cheese" the only problem is she thinks she needs to press her nose to the lenses while cheesing.

If it's possible for a 6 month old to possess any talents besides pooping and grabbing hair I would claim that Maya is incredibly photogenic.

Layla's rendition of "blue steel"

Tubby Time. Maya Loves the bath tub. She can actually out splash Layla, It's the thighs that give her such superb splashing power. She is so strong Layla usually leaves the tub crying.

I am teaching Layla her alphabet and so far from what I can tell is she loves to yell "A" at the top of her lungs no matter the letter. She does think C and F have fun sounds to wander around saying. I think she is actually doing pretty good.

Little Miss chif always up to something

Despite all her effort she still fell asleep on the walk.

Such a beautiful happy girl. I know I don't have any pictures of her smiling posted, whenever I get the camera out she is so intrigued by it I can't get a smile out of her. It's not a complete loss because you can't see how pretty her eyes are when she smiles because they get lost in her cheeks.

Blazzing

2009-05-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

I was visiting one of my friends the other day and we were discussing high school reunions because her 10 year is coming up which means mine is a short year behind her's. The inevitable topic of weight came up but it shifted so quickly to something more worth while we did not have much time to plan the tri-half-mara-athalons we were going to enter, in order to reclaim our high school figures. Our training plans got detoured when I announced that I envied her. She has keep in touch with so many people and is general genuinely nice.
On the other hand there is me.

when I recognize someone from high school I typical try to not make eye contact and avoid any conversation.

Why?

Because I am a bridge burner!
I have burned so many bridges I can't remember if you have good reason not to like me when we run into each other.

It's an rotten habit. If I feel slighted in the smallest I would just as soon never see that person again. it's petty. I don't place two much value on relationships. I treated them kind of like socks, it's good to get rid of old ones and get new ones on occasion.
I wish so badly that being good came naturally to me.
I have two work twice as hard as most people at it.
Not any more. I am going to change. I am passing the metaphorical torch. and Vow to try harder not to set any more bridges ablaze.

Wraped up

2009-05-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been completely absorbed in being a mom. Layla and Maya keep me pretty busy! We spend most of the day playing/making/cleaning messes.

Hear are some pictures of the Girls. I was going to blog about each one individualy but since this is my only free time and it only lasts 1.5 hours I would rather spend my time blog stalking. so this post is like one of those "choose your own ending" book.

This is a toy stroller. I am surprised that it could hold Maya's weight

Happy Mothers Day

2009-05-09T14:04:00.000-07:00

Seriously... Can I get an Amen

Dr. Livingston I presume

2009-04-26T11:46:00.000-07:00

I never let my babies out in the sun with out protection.
That means, sunscreen and floppy hats.
I think she looks like a little safari girl.

p.s. It is really difficult to get the strap under her chin's

And a side note.

I think I want this hair cut...

but I have a hard time deciding if I should be a blond or a brunette.
any opinions?

Fortune

2009-04-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

Cam and I would always get a soda after school. We would drink them on the way home. Each of us clutching our fists around the cap of our soda until the last sip was swallowed. Then, and only then, we could read our Fortunes. That was Cam's rule. Never read your fortune until you have finished, and now its mine too. There was also one other twist to the Jones soda tradition. You would ask your Soda a question (not out loud) and the answer would be on the bottom of the cap. When Cam got sick the tone of my questions began to change. I was not as interested in the next dance as I was the next year. His never changed. He was always a romantic (I would even go as far as to say a hopeless one). Any time I received instructions instead of an answer on the bottom of my cap he would do everything to make sure we followed the instructions. Always thinking that it would answer my question in the end. The one cap i remember best is the one that said "see a sunrise". The next morning cam showed up at my door unannounced to pick me up before the sun rose. We sat together and watched it rise. I never understood why he liked me. Why not one of the prettier girls? how come his affection wasn't fickle like mine? Now I can look back and see that I needed him to like me so I could learn about Love and Life.
I don't know why or how I became so fortunate in love. But this time I don't take it for granted. I still am shocked that Colin Loves me, every bit as shocked as I was on our first date when he clearly liked me. The reasons why he picked me don't matter as much as the fact that he did. I realize how lucky I am when he walks through the door with 3 sodas and takes me for a ride. We sit with cam and drink them while he lets me talk. Then we read our fortunes and leave our bottles.

Cheers

Peek-A-Boo

2009-04-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

Layla's favorite Game

Thumbs

2009-04-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

I have a thumb sucker.

and I am going to admit that I love it. That's right I love it.

She just finds her thumb when ever she needs soothing

Bed time is fabulous.
Minimal Crying. She just finds her thumb and goes to town.

And besides I think it cute.

I know the horror and judgment that may be going through your mind right now, but before you write me off as a horrible person who is sacrificing her daughters chances of an award winning smile and everything that goes with it. (money, popularity, and world peace) hear me out.

I am taking a genetic approach on the issue

People are a lot like Dogs. you know how mutts have mangled teeth?
well Colin is Irish and I am German/English (already my own kind of mixed breed)
and the results were braces.

Both Colin and I had braces

Mine however were much more... Extensive

I had

The herps appliance (It's the things that look like hydrolics in the cheeks)

head gear

And multiple teeth pulled

My jaw structure and teeth were both in pretty bad condition.

So I figure that my kids are doomed to the orthodontic chair. regardless of thumb sucking or not.

I don't want to even begin to imagine what this smile cost.

Thanks Mom and Dad

pump up the jams

2009-04-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

I moved in to Brittany Rockwell's apartment my 1st year of college. when I say I moved in with her I mean I moved in to her room where we shared a twin bed while her roommate and her boyfriend would have sleepovers in the bed next to us (gross).
for some reason we would rock out every morning to cake

now every time i hear this song I remember those days

MEmories

2009-04-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a while since I have done a post like this.

so here it is.

Mediocrity that's a word that I would use to describe myself in one of those lateral name poems where you pick 1 word for each letter in your name.

eg.
B.ellybutton
O.uttie
B.oo-Yah!!!

And I don't say that with any shame.
I am not fishing for complement comments.
I am at peace with my lot in life.

The way I see it is, if I was not mediocre how would you be outstanding? It's people like me who make you seem awesome, and I am totally fine with it. In fact i guess you could say that I am outstandingly mediocre! which means I am not terrible at anything either.

Case in point
Soccer...
I played soccer since age 8
You think that would make me pretty good at it right???

WRONG

I progressed quite nicely until I almost broke the outstanding barrier and then stopped. (not by choice either it's just hardwired into me i guess)
I played soccer in high school
I even started on the Varsity team as a sophomore. (Not a winning team by the way)
By the time I was a junior I was playing J.V. my skills would not improve at all
The summer between my junior and senior year I attended soccer camp and early morning practices for endurance training.
what a roast.
I did not make the team that year.
Yes as a senior who had played for 3 years I was cut
but my 2 younger sisters made the team
and I was offered the managers position.
flattered I turned it down.

You know in high school that is practically the end of the world... The public humiliation is almost too much for an adolescent Ego to bear.
I survived and just ended up with more free time after school.

I don't know if I just did not learn my lesson but I am thinking of organizing an adult women soccer league through the college. I know that you might not want to be on my team after that story but keep in mind these things:

A. I don't suck I am just not really good
B. I am kind of fun

So...anyone for soccer?

Grandma debbies house

2009-03-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

This is our spring break trip in photo's
I don't have anything cute or creative to write about it (do I ever really anyway)
But we all know the age old adage a picture is worth a thousand words so... consider this the wordiest post ever.

Alex's Team are the State Champions

Tickle Tickle

Fan Club

Starfish is a delicacy

The Pier

Maya, Mom and the Pouch

Face book

2009-03-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

This ones for you Kim!